In response to growing unrest among Zhuzh Corp employees (and several OSHA violations), executive leadership made the bold decision to switch all corporate meetings to daylight hours. This new “sustainability initiative” kicked off with $ERVING $AVINGS — a fully budgeted, semi-audited daytime extravaganza of savings, slayage, and subordination.

Attendees were instructed to arrive well-rested and dressed for quarterly reviews, though several employees were caught doing whip-its in the courtyard. The 2pm start time was reportedly “too early,” “too late,” and “surprisingly euphoric.”

The event marked a new chapter in the Daytime Rave Department (DRD) and has been described internally as “analog America meets burnout couture.”

Financial impact: -$3,092.44
Emotional impact: +∞